Log in

No account? Create an account
To Let Those We Love Be Perfectly Themselves - The Coins of Time & Attention [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

To Let Those We Love Be Perfectly Themselves [Jan. 16th, 2013|09:10 pm]
death needs time. by definition. the need for time arrives when it does.
    i always keep a main notes file, and timestamp every entry. it might as well be a running clock.
    i don't like clocks.

without time, we have it all, as my parents do. as my way late friends do. as our past selves do even, for that matter. when we have it least do we need it most, for that we would spend it most preciously on. like we do that material substitute for it; money. (if time is money, why are most broke when we have all time ahead?) there is poetry there remaining, waiting, meanwhile lost. paintings too. & unmade satoris, that still remain possible...
    i am at home here only in my mind. i never made it home. i chose to live in this world instead.
it's enough to say anything now. even gladly no. ticktock.
    err on the side of love and hold tight to your generosity of spirit, i always said.

'The Mystery Freedom' - of the earth, as she is. of the living fire of each moment... as ever, she gives us further possibilities of further possibilities themselves...
    the cascading curtain of aurora borealis is her skirt...
    the history and evolution of clouds is writ large in her dirt...

the breath of life, in utter inhalation, inspiration -we take her in and consume her -in roaring flames -then expelling silent smoke, spewing ashes, expiring wisps...
    ...& we cover her over, and emtomb her with our proud dominion...
    our mother planet lives on yet, despite us.
    we are but part of her, with little belief.
    little vision. little love. no understanding.

she whispers to us still, cooing wisdom, in her ever innate grace. telling us of the vast good, the great differences, that can be...
she tells us of the things we deny, those things we know not that exist within and without, and of that that can be.
she tells us things we will not hear.
she tells us this is our only opportunity to know, to go, and become among the vastly greater host.
she tells us she is the offer itself, her skirt ever raised high, and so then leaves us with it... the mystery freedom.

we are all her, all her voice, and so commanded to author en masse...

[User Picture]From: zuma
2013-01-18 04:41 pm (UTC)

Montrouge mural


[User Picture]From: zuma
2013-01-19 10:54 am (UTC)

re: embeds


this PM of mine somehow hurt the person's feelings:

dear [fill in the blank], my friend,

i have always strived to impart to you the various reasons i implore that embeds not be used on my pages. i have LJ set -supposedly -to not display embeds, but their constant 'upgrades' and changes have confounded this. embeds are always problematic for me, given the various machines i use, not to mention other aspects.

you might wanna keep in mind i only view youtubes on their own pages anyway -when i go looking for youtubes -and even then reboot afterward. as it is, i rarely view youtube pages of another's choosing, and as i say, embeds never.

please, if you would, edit your comment to a link instead. i would really appreciate it.

yr bud,

i received no answer in PM, save that the post was deleted altogether.
then another embed was posted with the public admonition 'be polite'.
i deleted the comment.

please folks, no video embeds. thanks. please use links instead.

i've tried for years to get this across to this one person but to no avail. maybe they feel singled out. that's not the case at all.

i've edited my profile page now to reflect my preference.



Edited at 2013-01-19 10:56 am (UTC)
[User Picture]From: zuma
2013-01-19 03:42 pm (UTC)

slaphappy slider (when every word is precious)


[User Picture]From: zuma
2013-01-20 11:04 pm (UTC)

re: conceptual writing / ceptuetics


choices, choices of choices
details, details of details

there is no uncreative writing -avoiding creativity itself is itself a creative notion. writing is innately a creative act.

the idea is not the idea, but for my old friend, ugata hitakey.
simply that. you got to hit a key.
the idea then is more about stopping. the mass made come to sum.
denouementia arrives.
the choices are greater at the end than the beginning. even more detailed.

signal to noise ratio...
in stn.htm i constrained myself to the height of each image to the right and the overall content 980px width of the page.
that determined the thing more than the actual content [to come] would and did.

open-ended piles.
open-ended piles such as zuma.htm have no denouementia. no sum. not really, save such for it's own sake. some statement of crescendo. as it were. (dmt?)
open-ended piles are non-ended.

so's this, so far. everything takes a long time. writing even more than art.

hello, hello, hello, and so on. forever & ever.

Edited at 2013-01-20 11:07 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]From: zuma
2013-01-31 12:41 am (UTC)



i finally managed to get my old laptop's old wireless card working, just moments ago. i'll install thunderbird tomorrow.

i'm staying at Jimmy's in Valley Brook. i'm surrounded by my work that he's always related to and had up all over his place. pieces i haven't seen in years. heck, i'm even sleeping in my old four poster bed that's now not exactly level. heh.

i'm spending my days at Joe's Addiction, a church and coffee shop owned by Jamie Zumwalt. Vinyard Church Ministry is a non-denominational church and actually cool (non-aggressive, non-predatory -the sort of xianity atypical here in the belt buckle of the bible belt). so i'm eating.
Joe's Addiction
1806B S.E. 59th St.
Valley Brook, OK 73129
(405) 601-2962

google up "Joe's Addiction Valley Brook" and switch to google maps and then 'street view' and see the place...

this is one hell of a great church and coffee shop. you'd *love* this place -at least one visit's worth anyway (yeah, lotsa young homeless here all day, eating and swapping tobacco and using this free wi-fi connection)...

online again... it wasn't easy. i wrestled with the card for hours.

[User Picture]From: zuma
2013-03-16 11:43 am (UTC)



deaconess hospital, OKC. still here after 6-7 weeks. they tell me i almost died or was close to it. i am luckier still though, for the love i have.

my family loves me. and i them. my ex, lisa, loves me, and i her.

love matters most to me when i think of the responsibility of it.

i think of it when i try to think of the future. right now that's hard.

i want to craft some meaningful life. i'm not a fighter.

if it weren't for the love bestowed upon me now i'd have lost my heart.

god is close.

i am scared, yes, but ultimately all is good.

i love blank white paper and that is what i see ahead, for all that i can say, such as this...
[User Picture]From: mavinga
2013-03-18 04:22 pm (UTC)

Re: love


Good to hear from you, I got the news but was a bit unsure...

Somewhere along the way there were a few communication breakdowns. I'll check on a few things, and I'll be in touch.
[User Picture]From: tjousk
2013-03-30 01:23 pm (UTC)

Re: love


I do so hope I've not left things too long.
[User Picture]From: zuma
2013-08-08 10:41 am (UTC)

Kingfisher, OK


After 3 months in the
hospital and 2 in this nursing home, I've finally logged into LJ,

Cell phone no less...

Stuck to a peg tube, I haven't swallowed anything in 5 months
Can't FTP so I ain't posting anything new yet

But I'm here.
[User Picture]From: zuma
2013-08-08 04:38 pm (UTC)

Re: Kingfisher, OK


And drawing a lot,
Mailing them all to my sister. Wish I could post them. Huge change

Cryo, I wish your acct was still alive as I have no email...
[User Picture]From: cryo
2013-09-13 06:47 pm (UTC)



He didn't know he could have sent me a message on here.
Apparently, he forgot his login and password. After editing his index page on his website, I checked his email spool. I'm mostly full of spam. He didn't want any filtering. His last check date was in Feb, so I don't think he was using it, or that's when he stopped being able to check it. This was in it though, unread.

From: William 'Cryo' Coldwell <xxxx@warped.com>
Subject: How did you handle the tornadoes?
Message-Id: <02702F8B-E265-4BDA-8740-3A41E88C2D1F@warped.com>
Date: Sun, 2 Jun 2013 13:06:42 -0400
To: zuma <zuma@warped.com>

Haven't heard from you in a while.


No, my friend, I haven't heard from you in a while.

Edited at 2013-09-13 06:49 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]From: hair_girl
2014-03-26 11:15 pm (UTC)


Hi Cryo,
I am so sad to see that Zuma has passed on. I wasn't on LJ for a while but didn't know anything would change. I shared many conversations on art and comics with Zuma, hoping to some time collaborate. I was just trying to reach out to him for a contribution to the comic anthology I am editing this summer.
If there is any way I can include him, at least an image as memorial. I assume he'd have liked to be in it, but still feel like I should ask permission from someone.
I am heartbroken. It sounds like he was full of love and support.
My wishes


[User Picture]From: cryo
2014-04-04 08:34 am (UTC)


I don't see why he wouldn't have wanted to be a part. However, I am nothing more than an old friend, and keeper of his website. Everything I have is at zuma.vip.warped.com
If there is other artwork out there, I would like to make sure it stays a part of this.
[User Picture]From: hair_girl
2014-05-16 05:21 am (UTC)


Thanks Cryo for keeping everything up!
Zuma's comics and website is a treasure of interesting things!
[User Picture]From: pigshitpoet
2014-09-22 06:54 am (UTC)

Re: cryo


when did zuma pass on? i wasn't aware of that.
[User Picture]From: tjousk
2013-09-14 02:13 pm (UTC)


I still know not what to say.

Rest well.
[User Picture]From: blaxmyth
2014-02-09 08:14 am (UTC)

she tells us this is our only opportunity to know, to go, and become among the vastly greater host.



i had no idea until just now. i haven't been on the site in at least a year.

our mother planet knows him even better now.
[User Picture]From: hillbillie
2014-09-20 01:17 am (UTC)


Happy New Year ;)
[User Picture]From: pigshitpoet
2014-09-22 06:53 am (UTC)

; '


how does one even begin to get on the same page with you. there is a lifetime of telling here.. all that the experience of living reveals. give me an entry point, or shall i just go "in media res"?
; '